Uyghurs in Chinese concentration camps fly Ukrainian flag to make people start caring about them


XINJIANG—According to sources, Uyghur Muslims imprisoned in Chinese concentration camps have started displaying Ukrainian flags to get people to pay attention.

“We were inspired to see the whole world come together to defeat oppression with these little blue and yellow flags,” said an unnamed prisoner. “We think that maybe if we wave them, the world will start to care about us too!”

According to unnamed sources, the flags are expertly crafted in secret between Nike and Disney production orders. Large flags are hung from rooftops or used as blankets. Smaller flags are sewn into their clothing so they cannot be easily confiscated.

The Uyghur people would work day and night, risking meeting their strict production quotas, all in the hope that anyone, anyone, would notice.

Camp guards were initially wary of the blue and yellow designs that appeared everywhere when foreign journalists began demanding entry, apparently drawn to the vibrant Ukrainian colors like a moth to the flame. But the camp guards breathed a sigh of relief when they realized the reporters were only interested in everyone’s thoughts on Ukraine.

“We are beaten – we have no hope -” one prisoner pleaded through a broken jaw.

“It’s so brave of you to defend Ukraine, but I see you are using Russian-made sewing machines? How dare you!” pressed CNN correspondent David Culver to one of the overworked prisoners.

As of press time, Uyghurs have been chastised for not specifically condemning Putin, instead selfishly trying to speak for themselves.


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